Ramadan Diary, Days 4-6

Alhamdulillah! Ramadan Mubarak.

On the fourth day of Ramadan I came face to face with pieces of my past that I hadn't dealt with in years, and in many ways never actually processed emotionally. Subhanallah, fasting has given me so much clarity. The fourth day also brought me to the realization that my bank account had been compromised, leaving me without proper funds for important things like books and gasoline. Fortunately, food is mostly covered between fasting and iftar, alhamdulillah, Ramadan could not have better timing. Allah provides.

The evening of the fourth was a complex emotional experience that led to a late night breakthrough as the clarity of the fast allowed my mind to process my past and if only in my own mind, I was able to forgive past mistakes I'd made. Before I fell asleep I felt as though I'd weeded my emotional/spiritual garden and the seeds of hope and iman could really take root and grow.

I woke on the morning of the fifth with time to pray fajr but without a chance to make suhur. Coming into Ramadan this was one of my biggest fears. Mashallah, I faced this fear and it turned out to be easier throughout the day than I expected. Alhamdulillah for strength.

With the weight of my past off my shoulders and a great fear behind me, the last two days have been even more amazing than the first. I really didn't know what to expect from Ramadan, but it has been so much more than I thought it could be. I feel like I'm settling into the fasting and the month feels faster and faster, just like taraweed.

Alhamdulillah for the blessings of Ramadan.

May all our prayers be accepted and sins forgiven.

Ramadan Diary, day 2 1/2

Monday morning, Alhamdulillah.

Just a word about yesterday, day two. Another wonderful day of fasting and night of prayer. There was a slight trouble with the lights, fans and mic'ing of the Imam during taraweed. Alhamdulillah, this all worked out quickly. It did get rather hot for the first four rakah, and then rather loud for the fifth and sixth. There was a very powerful dua at the end that made me wish I understood more arabic than I do.

The last two and a half hours of the day are the hardest, though from my conversations with some of the other brothers this is a common experience.

Alhamdulillah, the first two days of my first Ramadan were the weekend allowing me to settle in to the new experience. My fall semester starts today, another joy.

Sects in Islam

an interesting and thought provoking interview with Maulana Wahiduddin Khan.

Ramadan Diary, day 1 1/2

It's Sunday morning, my second day of fasting. alhamdulillah! My first day was very fulfilling. Keeping hydrated between sundown and sunrise is almost my favorite part. I'm certainly appreciating food a little more than normal, as it truly strikes me as the blessing that it is. I attended a Tajweed class at my local masjid between Asr and Maghrib, but the last hour was still the hardest. I put myself in a situation that involved a little too much pure waiting instead of doing something to keep occupied.

subhanallah, the community iftar was amazing. Coming into Ramadan I was excited, but I had this nagging apprehensive feeling about the struggle of the fast. As the brothers rolled in and the iftar rolled around I really got that holiday feeling. There was so much happiness going around. Smiles, joy, truly rejoicing in the simple wonders of life that are so easily taken for granted. There was a little mini khutbah during taraweed prayers about how man is a creature of habit and how ramadan is not just about recognizing this, and adjusting or altering habits for 30 days but also about learning and growing iman. Making large changes for the month of ramadan while being mindful and making changes (both large and small) for the long term.

alhamdulillah, Allah grant me the strength to persevere and grow this ramadan.

Ramadan Diary, day 0

so this is my first Ramadan. I'm excited and a little apprehensive. Nothing serious, inshallah, my iman will grow as I get to know myself, my body, my soul and الله. Strength and willpower, inshallah, bolstered and supplied by the creator and sustainer of all the worlds. Every test a blessing.

الحمد لله

I have the intention of sitting down every day at some point to record my experience. I also have the intention of, starting saturday, finding something to do, some way to volunteer or otherwise give my time to a worthwhile cause. Inshallah, I'll have the ability to do both.

I have some painting to do and I believe a friend of mine needs his deck stained - that's a start. Inshallah, I may even be able to handle helping out with an iftar.

Why Do Muslims Fast?

Why Do Muslims Fast?

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